2023 Olympic Games to Be Held at UC 

Dhruv Gupta, Sports Writer

When you think of the Olympics, you think of grand ceremonies, thrilling battles until the final buzzer, and competitive clashes between countries on the biggest stage on the globe. The mind-boggling madness of the Olympics comes to town this summer, hosted by a local school in Los Altos.

Pinewood School beat out Paris, Tokyo, Beijing, Sydney, London, Athens, Rome, and Berlin to be chosen as the next location for the global gauntlet of international athletics. The Best Operational Supreme Supervisor (BOSS) of the Pinewood Olympics will be Head of Upper Campus Gabriel Lemmon. Lemmon will lead the competition, overseeing all the various events ranging from basketball to surfing. 

“What could go wrong?” Lemmon said.

Six grades of world class athletes have been training for months to represent their grade during the Pinewood Olympics. However, rivalries have sparked in recent weeks between grades, leading to fierce conflict on and off the field. 

At the end of the last seventh grade versus eight grade qualifier soccer match two weeks ago, an all-out brawl followed a missed call. The fight resulted in eight red cards and 15 yellow cards being issued. Both groups were quick to blame each other for the conflict. 

“I am aware of the high tensions between the grades,” Lemmon said, “but I think it’s funnier to let them fight it out.”

BOSS has a foolproof plan to transform Pinewood’s campus into a luxurious land of competition. 

“We will be completely demolishing the Junior High Quad,” Lemmon said. “I’m talking explosives, wrecking balls, the whole thing.” Lemmon intends to conduct the wreckage and destruction during the most important week of the semester — finals week. 

“I think the destruction will help our students focus on their exams,” Lemmon said. Lemmon adds that students will have to navigate around the massive cranes and demolition crews on campus during the duration of the restoration.

Lemmon said that he intends to transform the wreckage into a luxurious Olympic Village for all athletes competing in the Pinewood Olympics.

Freshman athlete Mailey Wang was elated at the opportunity to compete in her hometown. Wang will compete for the freshmen girls volleyball team throughout the course of the tournament.

“I can sleep in and still make it to my game on time,” Wang said. Wang added that she couldn’t wait to face the seniors in the tournament. 

“They get to go off campus for lunch, and I just don’t think that’s fair,” Wang said. “I am gonna take it out on them.”

The cutthroat competition has just begun, with six grades battling it out over the course of a full month and vying for a championship on the greatest land the Olympics has ever seen.

“This is going to be a mess, but it’s definitely going to be funny to watch,” Lemmon said.