From patiently guiding us through phonics sets in kindergarten to explaining complicated formulas, and from mediating arguments between stubborn eight-year-olds to checking in with  stressed-out high...

    A fuzzy, greenish brown, bulbous organism is sending out warning signals via its noxious stench that wafts through the halls of Pinewood. In the name of science, biology teacher Kim Hudson is harboring...

Science Department Chair Kim Hudson has approved an action granting faculty the authority to utilize students as human subjects in potentially life-threatening experiments. This unprecedented twist has...

Even the most talented conspiracy theorists have not been able to understand the root of this transformation of teachers becoming Shakespeare characters, but they speculate that it has something to do...

Is Los Altos Hills the new Albuquerque? Nearly 14 years after notorious drug kingpin Walter Hartwell White, known as Heisenberg, was caught after terrorizing the Southwest with his meth empire, another...

Beloved history teacher Sam Jezak and Assistant Head of Upper Campus Haley Hemm recently tied the knot in Santa Cruz, California. Originally planning a small, intimate wedding ceremony in a picturesque...

Picture a room with sleek black marble floors, professional cinema cameras in every corner, suspenseful music playing, and a line of burly Pinewood students flexing their muscles. This is what the Pinewood...

 “Alexander Hamilton. My name is Alexander Hamilton. And there’s a million things I haven’t done.” While there are a million things math teacher Stuart Hamilton hasn’t done, one thing he...

In a shocking turn of events, computer science teacher Haggai Mark has been replaced by a robot powered by artificial intelligence (AI) and has been relieved of his teaching duties. The decision was made...

Pinewood literature teacher Ellie Pojarska has officially copyrighted her iconic Pojo Perch®. The Pojo Perch® is Pojarska’s infamous sitting position on the back of her chair. Since the name was coined...

It’s a classic American sport. It involves throwing and catching an object. It features touchdowns. I am talking, of course, about the ever-so-relevant, universally loved and admired sport of ultimate...