Many people may think of Stuart Hamilton merely as Pinewood’s math teacher. However, beneath this facade of normality, Hamilton has multiple secrets that he has kept hidden for years. Perhaps most shocking of all: he is a mermaid. Yes, you heard that right! A man with a tail!

   “My parents were both mermaids, but when I was born, I was miraculously able to shift between human and mermaid,” Hamilton said. “I chose to remain as a mermaid for most of my childhood to be close to my family.”

   However, one day, Hamilton was swimming along the Pacific with his favorite fish buddy, Fishy, when a strong current carried him towards Japan. 

   He had never been to that area before, so, out of curiosity, he wiggled his bright purple tail and swam to the surface.

   “There, right in front of me, was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, standing on the rocks,” Hamilton said.

   Hamilton decided to convert to human form to be with the woman he loved. They got engaged shortly after and moved to the United States, where Hamilton began working at Pinewood school as a math teacher.

   Since he is now a human for the majority of the time, Hamilton sometimes misses being a mermaid. 

   “When I miss my mermaid days, I stand on the balcony in front of Room 22 and imagine the vast ocean in front of me,” Hamilton said.

   Additionally, to help him feel more at home, Hamilton decided to take up unicycling.

   “While I’m riding on my unicycle, the single wheel mimics the feeling of swimming with a single tail,” Hamilton said. “When I ride, I feel like I’m back in the Pacific, with Fishy by my side, exploring caves as I swim around joyfully in circles.”

   Every Saturday, Hamilton visits his mermaid family to show them all the things he’s learned from the human world, such as card tricks and unicycling.

   Hamilton shares that his passion for card tricks and unicycling is strong, and he is ready to take these hobbies to the next level.

   “I am so excited to share that next year, I will be joining the circus,” Hamilton said. “I am so grateful for the opportunity to do something I love so much as a career.” 

        While Hamilton was hesitant to share these secrets, he knew that the Pinewood community would support him in everything he does.

   “I can’t wait to see what this next chapter has in store for me,” Hamilton said. “I am £€~¥}§ (‘overjoyed’ in mermaid language).”