With a newly built, state-of-the-art $100 trillion Mega-Data-Center, Pinewood is poised to engage the rage bait phenomenon that’s taking social media by storm. Strategically housed in the invisible clouds above the Murphy Patio, Pinewood’s IT department has unveiled its first-ever AI model, TalkGPT (Talk Generative Pinewood-trained Transformer).
Let’s see what rage baiting techniques TalkGPT has come up with.
Freshman Larry Chu told TalkGPT that he really wanted to sit in his history teacher, Molly Peterson’s, class during his free period. TalkGPT told him that the only way to do so was to interrupt Peterson’s class by breaking into dance. Chu was skeptical, but it turns out TalkGPT was right.
Chu came to Peterson’s Human Geography class during his free period. Then, in the middle of class, Chu suddenly stood on the table and started dancing. The dance revolution took over the classroom, with everyone following Chu’s lead. Peterson stormed out of the room, taking this act of treason with relative grace. Everyone in class cheered, happy that Peterson’s authoritarian reign has finally come to an end.
His dance video was livestreamed with over 1 million likes and comments, and the recording is available here.
“You know, I thought getting Peterson’s permission to hang out in her room would be harder,” Chu said. “I guess I can just walk in there, watch some YouTube shorts, and do a silly dance. It’s as simple as that.”
Another time, Chu asked TalkGPT for tips on how to apologize for zoning out during his teacher’s entire lesson plans.
TalkGPT recommended that Chu go with the flow and not ask any annoying questions. One scenario TalkGPT suggested was to approach all the art teachers on campus and apologize to them with pieces of broken glass as a peace offering.
Here’s what actually happened. Kim had prepared a lab exercise using the combination of liquid nitrogen and water to create nitrogen-powered rockets to practice calculating velocity and acceleration. Kim provided meticulous and safety-specific instructions, but Chu and fellow freshmen Ilinca Tudosa did not pay attention at all. Remembering TalkGPT’s advice, Chu advised Tudosa to simply follow what the rest of the class was doing.
The results did not go as planned. Tudosa and Chu skipped the pivotal step of walking onto the field before releasing the rockets, resulting in the rockets’ premature launch right next to Room 21, not knowing the consequential repercussions. Their aim was true. The rocket flew across the physics room, out the windows, and shattered Kim’s car.
While it was unfortunate that Kim’s car windows needed to be replaced, Room 21 now has a large supply of broken glass to serve as raw materials for the art departments. The students can even take some home as souvenirs.
What do you think? Was TalkGPT a good investment? Did it help with the rage baiting problem? Perhaps we should pose these questions to TalkGPT and see what it recommends.
