As if the Pinewood Upper Campus renovations haven’t cost enough already, administrators recently edited them to include an exciting and expensive new feature: a fully functional amusement park with a wide variety of roller coasters, rides, and even a Ferris Wheel. 

   The amusement park was created in partnership with California’s Great America, meaning the school will mimic the park’s layout and charm. On weekends and holidays, the park will be open to the general public. Head of Upper Campus Eve Kulbieda is excited about the addition.

   “I was strolling through Great America and I discovered the intricacies of American culture,” Kulbeida said. “It’s such a fascinating and unique way to create a sense of community, and we are excited to welcome the addition to our school.”

   Kulbieda said the rollercoaster will be a fun addition to Pinewood’s facilitites.

   “We have the goal of incorporating the fun of amusement parks alongside the functionality of a school,” Kulbieda said. “Roller coasters will help students travel 

to different parts of campus. Many students who have classes in Room 24 complain about travelling all the way across campus and up the stairs during passing periods, even with our small school grounds. With one of our new rollercoasters, there will be a direct ride up to Room 24 from the Junior High Quad.”

    Additionally, a Ferris Wheel will be built on the football field. The giant wheel will feature 20 pods, each of which will be able to hold up to six people. This will allow students to have a personal space to relax with friends.

   Football coach Yong Kim, known around campus for his strong opinions, said the Ferris Wheel was a terrible idea. 

   “It’s a super unfair takeover of the athletic area, which is literally made for football,” Kim said. “They’re destroying our sport.” 

   Kim used aggressive, vulgar language that should not be repeated in a school-affiliated paper. He proceeded to throw a chair into a wall, adding another charge to the school’s already inflated renovation budget.

   With the park comes an all-new Snack Shack menu with many of Great America’s best-sellers. 

   Students can look forward to treats such as cotton candy, deep-fried Oreos, and, obviously, a variety of the famous chocolate fudge flavors.

   “We hope the upgraded Snack Shack menu will lead to a happier and healthier student body,” Kulbieda said. “Adding these nutritious options should increase school spirit and daily enjoyment.”