Society has come a long way, having experienced eras such as the Baroque, Classical, Romantic and Taylor Swift. These polarizing periods in music — Taylor Swift being the most polarizing — have led to some of the most influential artists of our time, such as SZA, Drake, and Sexxy Red.
Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that three of the amazing artists behind these magical albums would collaborate. The offspring of their genius, a pinnacle of the finest poetry, was the creation of the most influential song of all time: “Rich Baby Daddy.”
When I first heard this song, I fell to the floor in shock. My ears had yet to be blessed with such ethereal and holy sounds. From Sexyy Red’s “baow” noises to Drake’s elegiacally curated first verse, this song changed my life forever. Although I have always been an avid hater of the superstar SZA, her verse in this song gave me a new mindset. Shakespeare could never have written a verse like that, but SZA wrote something better than “Twelfth Night.”
I, as the most sensible person in the world, thought that this brilliance would be well received by the Pinewood administration. Therefore, I requested it to be played at Winter Formal. I thought I would share this religious, eye-opening experience with the rest of the school, especially considering every other song played was horrible.
The song was very well received by the students, with noise levels reaching over one hundred fifty decibels, which is expected from the spectacle that is “Rich Baby Daddy.” However, the administration had the opposite feelings. The dance supervisors thought that this song was too “inappropriate” for Upper Campus students, and banned it from all future dances.
When I heard this news, my first thought was, “Where is the nearest place I can purchase a lighter and can of gasoline?” Just kidding (kind of). As someone who has never said a bad word in my life, this shocked me. How could they ban the best dance song of all time? Children were being robbed of great educational content that teaches them the great wonders of the circle of life. There are only 47 so-called “curse words” in this song. I thought mankind, as a collective, had agreed that these “curse words” were beneficial for the development of our society. For once in my life, was I wrong?
If Pinewood’s administration has any “love deep inside of them,” they’ll bend the rules and continue playing “Rich Baby Daddy” at their dances.
