Conspiracy theorists are visionaries. They manage to come up with the most sane-sounding insane ideas that touch the hearts of people all over the world. Now that is talent. Here are my top five favorite conspiracy theories:

1. Subliminal Advertising: If an ad has ever convinced you to buy a product, you have fallen prey to this conspiracy. It is widely believed that companies brainwash people through subliminal messaging, which plays with your subconscious. This idea has been around since the 20th century, and it’s had both negative and positive implications. Imagine if ads could actually convince you to throw all of your money at a certain product, or maybe even engage in harmful activity; now that would be really bad. On a lighter note, the reason I like this theory so much is because what if an ad made you buy the entire Taco Bell franchise. Yeah, your money would be wasted, but you would also get unlimited Taco Bell (great for some, and horrible for others; it depends on the person)

2. COVID-19 and 5G: The advanced 5G network gained prevalence in 2019, “coincidentally” in the same year that COVID was born. When the virus started to propagate, intelligent individuals began to notice that the spread occurred in places where 5G towers were installed. These were the COVID hotspots. Electromagnetic frequencies from these towers weakened immunities of those in close proximity to them, allowing COVID to wreak havoc. This idea was spread by those who believed that the pandemic was a planned international disaster by the U.S. government. If disease actually spread through telephone wires, I’m not pretty sure the human population would have been extinct by now.

3. Birds Aren’t Real: Big Brother (*cough* the government) is always watching, and it’s not in the way you think. Seemingly inconspicuous birds are actually drone spies for the government. In 2017, Peter McIndoe, founder of the “Birds Aren’t Real” movement claimed that certain “birds” serve certain purposes, and even wrote a book on his radical idea. For example, if you’ve ever wondered why cities are populated with pigeons, it’s because their job is public surveillance. I would think twice before saying that the next bird you see is adorable. 

4. Obama’s Fake Birth Certificate: Many individuals believe(d) that Barack Obama’s birth certificate was a counterfeit to justify their racial biases during the 2008 election. Former President Obama had to publish his certificate to the public to prove that he was indeed a U.S. citizen and eligible to run for president. The term “birtherism” was coined regarding those who had doubts about Obama’s origins, but the idea was debunked. More than funny, this theory is honestly quite (sadly) interesting, as people seem to go to any length to rationalize racism and try to discredit powerful people of color. 

5. The Earth is Flat: As an avid science enthusiast, this is arguably the best conspiracy theory to ever exist. You have all seen the sun rising and setting, and have possibly imagined why the horizon is flat. Well, that’s because the Earth is a 2D circle, obviously. If it was spherical, the horizon would be curved. This totally doesn’t have to do with perspective and geometry because that would be ludicrous. Flat-Earthers have existed ever since the birth of the internet and continue to try to rationalize their ideas by twisting the principles of science. Many of these flat-earthers have tried to prove that the Earth is flat, but funnily enough, all the evidence they collect points to the Earth being round. Bob Knodel, a passionate flat-Earther, bought a $20000 gyroscope to prove that the Earth doesn’t rotate, but instead, the 15 degree per hour rotation proved just how wrong he was. Whenever I’m feeling insecure, I remember things like this exist, and then I feel better about myself.

   I truly admire the complex imaginations of these brilliant artists; they make it seem so easy. If these conspiracy theories were actually true, boy, would the world be more interesting.