I’m not tired. Am I tired of school? Sure. Am I tired of all human interaction? Absolutely. But, am I tired because I’m lacking sleep? Nope, not even a little bit. Not even at all.

It was a random Thursday afternoon, I would say around 1:26 p.m., when I found myself on the verge of completely zoning out in my Statistics class. Pencil in hand, iPad screen about to go black and Ms. Bertron’s voice buzzing in and out of my ear like a bee. What’s weird, though, was that this buzzing wasn’t constant. It was almost as if I was drifting in and out of consciousness, with the buzzing growing softer, then louder, when my fellow peers broke out in a proud Stats chant.

“State. Plan. Do. Conclude. Randomness. 10%. Large counts,” the students in my class said.

Upon replaying bits and pieces of their conversation in my head, I realized that I had absolutely no idea what the heck was going on. I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around the mathematical concepts they were discussing, but then again, when do I ever really understand their nerdy banter anyways? I figured I just zoned out like I always do. Right? Yeah. Never in a million years have I even gotten remotely close to falling asleep in class, let alone in Statistics.

Anyhow, after I reoriented myself from the rude awakening, fellow junior Prisha Mohapatra and I were called up to solve a solution set on the board. I know right, how dreadful…

As I got up and made my way toward the whiteboard, I felt a wave of dizziness wash over me. Not because I’m tired or dehydrated. Not at all. Just because I got up too quick. Right? Please tell me that’s the case. Because I’m a whole 99.7% sure that’s the reason why. So confident that I’m three standard deviations above the mean! Okay. Sorry. That wasn’t funny. It’s just the exhaustion — no, that’s not the right word — delirium setting in. Please forgive me.

Finally, after what felt like two decades later, I reluctantly arrived at the whiteboard and felt a little tipsy, like the world was spinning faster than my mind was. As I touched the marker tip to the board, getting ready to write, I had an epiphany. I don’t need sleep at all; instead, what I truly need is a tutor. Heck, even after rereading the problem four times, I still didn’t understand it. If I can’t even stay awake to finish reading the problem, how would you expect me to solve it? I mean I couldn’t even keep my eyes from fluttering shut every two seconds. In fact, I’ll probably juskjrtakugsodgknfjaopxkzmzzzzzzzzzzzzzz