Not for the first time, a guest was seen crying upon entering GOAT TO GO!, a Pinewood podcast hosted by sophomores Katie Maier, Sophie Saibi, and me. The main focus is addressing students’ mental health. The guest sank into his chair, the lights flickered on, and the mics hummed to life.
KM, SS, YW: Welcome to GOAT TO GO!, where worries can’t stop you from feeling good to go.
KM: Today, we are consoling sophomore Rishi Chen, whose tears fill up the Nile each night as he struggles to adjust to post-pandemic life
SS: I’m guessing you’re caught up because you can’t let go of your precious pandemic lifestyle.
RC: That’s a foolish assumption. My life has been astronomically better since the lockdown ended. Everyday in isolation, I was stuck in a sea of sorrow.
KM: The pandemic … was the best time of my life. I miss waking up and going to bed with my eyes glued to the screen. Doom scrolling was like Groundhog Day — the same cycle over and over, yet somehow, I was never bored. I lived a million experiences without ever leaving my room.
RC: Yeah … experiences of brain rot.
SS: Anyway, my volleyball career was thriving during the pandemic. The lockdown carried me to stardom. Every in-person match was replaced with Wii volleyball, and I dominated at every turn. However, my controller skills never translated to the physical ball, so I still dwell on my pandemic superstar era.
YW: What I miss the most is time. While in Zoom classes, I spent what felt like an eternity watching the trees outside my window. The annoying sunlight bouncing off each leaf into the back of my cornea allowed me to reconnect with nature.
RC: I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I do miss the pandemic. I was at the height of my music career. A whopping total of 34 people tuned into my daily livestreams; I miss being a minor celebrity.
KM: Rishi, we’re so happy you’re willing to acknowledge reality. You’re on your way to enlightenment.
SS: Agreed. The pandemic was our peak, and now we must learn how to deal with rock bottom. But at least we can still reminisce about watching movies until 2 a.m., waking up on the couch, and convincing ourselves dieting is the new trend because food is scarce.
RC: That doesn’t sound healthy at all. I don’t believe you guys are trying to help me move past the horrible lockdown.
YW: Trust us, we are. But the answer to healing may lie in returning to the perfect past.
KM: Yes. Just wear pajamas all day, have no motivation, and let the world forget you exist.
RC: Okay, I get it. You guys clearly peaked, but this is just sad. I didn’t come here to receive a masterclass on denial.
YW: What counts as denial is subjective, but there’s no denying the beauty of isolation and minimal social interactions.
KM: I think the silence means he’s sorted out his conflicts.
[At the end of each episode, when we feel our guest has found peace, we gently coerce them into saying the catchphrase.]
RC: I’m Rishi, and this podcast definitely makes me feel good to go.
