Just this past week, out of boredom and, truthfully, to avoid studying for a calculus exam, I started mindlessly scrolling through the 11,544 photos in my camera roll. In doing so, I discovered not only a gold mine of photos I have stashed away in my phone but also an invaluable observation that I wouldn’t otherwise have noticed: so many beautiful moments, mere flickers of seconds, are captured by our phones, stored away, and forgotten about the next day. Sure, we might get a giggle or two out of a photo one minute, but merely a second later, life moves on, and these little flickers of light lose their second to shine. Moments that once brought us so much joy quickly become distant memories, floating deeper and deeper into the unexplored depths of our camera rolls, poised to be forgotten.
It wasn’t until this past break that I realized how hypocritical I actually sound. Much like everyone else, my life feels like it moves at a million miles an hour, juggling sleepless nights and school, basketball practice and extracurriculars, a social life and family time. I pour every ounce of everything I have into everything that I do, charging forward at full speed, hoping that one day, when I achieve perfection, when I accomplish everything I set out to accomplish, when I somehow manage to get an A in that class, that I’ll feel completely satisfied, that all my problems will wash away, that all the high grades and scored points will act as a bandage for all my struggles. But no, unfortunately, life isn’t that simple. Sure, we can work as hard as we want, put our heads down in constant pursuit of the next biggest and best thing, but what’s the point of all this if we lose sight of what’s right in front of us? The journey unraveling before our eyes. The people who have helped us get to where we are. The moments we’ll never get back.What’s the point of staying up all night to study for a test, just for it to be over in one hour and for you to get the grade back, beaming with happiness — for 10 seconds? 10 seconds that cost a lifetime of memories, a lifetime of moments.
Now, you may be thinking, what’s not to love about all these accomplishments, all these high marks and achievements? Well, it’s not the sleepless nights that you’ll regret; instead, it’s the relationships you’ve put on the back burner, the experiences you’ve said no to, the time you’ll never get back, all at the expense of 10 fleeting seconds of validation.
Even though I, myself, am guilty of chasing this feeling, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that time won’t stop for anybody; the world will always keep spinning, and there will always be an 11th second. An 11th second after the 10 seconds of bliss have worn off. An 11th second where you’re left feeling empty, realizing that what you thought you wanted wasn’t exactly what you were expecting. An 11th second where the photo you stumble across randomly in your camera roll no longer sparks a vivid memory, but rather draws an alarming blank.
All of this, I’ve learned, is a result of chasing perfection without having a sense of direction, of chasing something without knowing why you’re even doing it. While it’s amazing to be in constant pursuit of your goals — as that means you have a purpose, a determination to do something meaningful in this life — you cannot forget to live life itself, to live in the moment, to cherish it, to appreciate the good times but also the bad, to find joy in the little moments, to take advantage of the time we can never get back.
As my time in high school comes to a close, my one regret is that I didn’t realize this sooner, that I didn’t learn to prioritize the memories, the experiences, the people that truly bring me the most joy. That said, mistakes aren’t truly failures until you’ve failed to learn from them, so a lesson learned must be a lesson shared, and I’m being serious when I say this: figure out what you value most and prioritize it. As someone who has experienced the highs of great achievement and the lows of great failure, the regret of missing out on opportunities to grab dinner with your teammates or go to the movies with your closest friends one last time will always be greater than the regret of one bombed test. My advice to you is to live life to the fullest, and have no regrets in the 11th second. Have no regrets when you walk across that stage and receive your diploma in the spring, for you only ever have one high school experience. So, enjoy it.
