There is a traitor among us.

When Pinewood hired current substitute teacher and assistant girls basketball coach Kiki Nakano, it’s safe to assume that no one expected her to be a minor and absolute fraud of a teacher, let alone a traitorous, backstabbing spy.

Over her past two years at Pinewood, Nakano has mastered the art of remaining inconspicuous. If you don’t find her in the gym watching film on basketball, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll find her substituting for an absent teacher, making herself a coffee in the teacher’s lounge, or strolling through the hallways with her earbuds in.

Despite her incredibly believable facade, history teacher Sam Jezak remains skeptical of Nakano’s true identity and recently launched an investigation to find out more about who she really is.

“Ever since she came to Pinewood, I got the impression that she was a high schooler,” Jezak said. “She literally blends right in with the rest of my students.”

To satiate his desire for the truth, Jezak spent countless weeks trying to find information about Nakano online; unfortunately, nothing seemed to turn up. Feeling defeated, Jezak shifted his attention to other matters.

However, just days later, he overheard one of Nakano’s phone calls with an anonymous high school basketball coach and knew this was his opportunity for a breakthrough.

As it turns out, not only was she an undercover high school student lying about her identity, but she was also a freelance spy for opposing basketball programs in the area.

In the next couple of days, Jezak continued to monitor Nakano’s suspicious phone calls with these information-fiending basketball coaches, and in every single one, she handed over Pinewood’s entire handbook of offensive sets, defensive schemes, and scouting reports. To put it lightly, Jezak was appalled.

Her traitorous behavior also explains the girls basketball teams’ recent offensive and defensive struggles. According to Jezak, teams began calling out Pinewood’s sets before they even materialized, as they knew what actions to anticipate.

“Cheating just takes the fun out of the game,” Jezak said. “It’s gut-wrenching to know that someone we trusted stabbed us in the back.”

With a betrayal as sinister as this, it becomes impossible to move forward as if nothing happened. How could such an unsuspecting teacher and assistant coach be this duplicitous? How could Pinewood fall victim to a heist as asinine as this? Questions like these will continue to circulate within the Pinewood community as Nakano faces indefinite suspension.

Amidst so much uncertainty, there is one thing we know for sure: Nakano is someone we can no longer trust. So please, watch your back, as friends are close, but enemies are always closer.